z is for ZOO!

When I bought Zoo passes for Jackson and Audrey for Christmas gifts I never imagined that we would be using them in February! But today was absolutely gorgeous, the perfect day for Audrey's first trip to the zoo.

The Peanut. She's bringing tummy time back in style.

cousin love.

We were lucky enough to have some cousin lovin' time the past couple of days with visits from Mya and Mason and then Allison and Wyatt.

randomness.

I treasure every inch of that little face. But, the baby pounds that came along with her? Not so much. I actually gained quite a bit less with Audrey than I did with Jackson, but because I haven't been able to nurse Audrey as much (and now not at all), the last few pounds are being incredibly stubborn. I am more determined than ever to say goodbye to them forever and to gain back my pre-baby body. It's hard work to not only lose the baby weight, but to get back into shape quickly, so I'm swearing off the excuses that are so easy to find (I don't have time, I have little kids, I'm too sleep deprived...). Nope, no more excuses, just hard work. Bring it on.

 Play time outside in Indiana in February? Loving that. Peanut was all about the moby wrap- she actually got upset when I took her out of it this afternoon. Dan said that's because she is spoiled and likes being close to me. Well, she does love being close to me, but that's just because I'm her favorite. Jealous daddy.

Handsome butt here doesn't so much believe in "playing" very often. He would much rather be working. You know, big boy stuff. Today he gathered sticks from around the yard and let me know how much he didn't want his photo taken. That darn mama paparazzi always getting in his way.

I'm off to clean up the house and to nurse my sore muscles. And by nurse them I actually mean applaud them because the feeling of getting back in the groove with fitness is priceless. And those post-work-out highs don't hurt either.

I've sat down to write at least three times in the past half hour, only to delete every word I have typed. I feel like I have this list of things to get off my chest and yet no words seem adequate to take them off my mind. They must need to mingle together a little longer in my mind, giving me a little more time to understand. Dan used to jokingly tell me to "lighten up" when my world became to serious. I think he finally realized that telling me that did nothing but push me in that direction even farther, down a path I don't always feel like I have the choice in going. It's as if every once in awhile every deeply concerning, historically conflicting question irks in my brain relentlessly, insisting that I've got to answer it at this very moment:


How are we going to raise Jackson and Audrey to be humble and confident, driven and content, to have conviction and empathy? 


How are we going to teach them to serve God before any one else? To not get caught up in crowds just following each other around in circles? To love with judgement and reach out without fear? 


How am I going to show them that you need not define yourself by any one thing? Being multi-dimensional is not only more beautiful, but more interesting as well? That just maybe God intended for them to fulfill many, many purposes in life? 


And what about patience and unwavering faith? That really big stuff that can't be taught, but can only be absorbed through observing? How are we going to exude that every minute of every day? That's a lot of pressure.


Oh, and I can't forget about passion, loving unconditionally, dreaming big, always standing up for what is right, persistence, being consistent, to never stop learning...


You name it and I want it for our babies. I want it for them because I know how having it myself has shaped me. And I want it for them because I know how not having it has shaped me.


I am who I am and they will be who they are meant to be, but there are nights such as these when I look into their deeply innocent eyes and the weight of realizing how big of a role I have in their destinies is sobering. 


I love those babies. I love who they are and I love who they will become. I love them forever. And while I never expect them to fully understand how much I mean that, I do hope that they will look back one day and realize how seriously I took this whole parenting thing. How I didn't take for granted one day as their mom and I didn't pass up one opportunity to teach them, to love them, to guide them to a life full of faith, love and happiness. 

a LOVEly playdate

Jackson and Audrey hosted their very first valentine's day playdate today with 18 of their best buddies. There were sugar overdoses, valentine exchanges and a lot of LOVE. 18 kids 3 years and under sounds like chaos waiting to happen... but they were all amazingly well-behaved. I love LOVE, I love Valentine's day and I love my adorable babies who give me the perfect excuses to throw playdate parties...