10 Small Things..

I just came across an article (here) that is written by a married man and lists what he considers to be the top 3 things women do that annoy men the most. The article is actually pretty entertaining because the author is quite witty and he does make some solid points, but it made me think of what I do that must irritate Dan. And of course the answer was NOTHING because I am perfect! 


Only kidding. I am sure there are many things that bother him from time to time (like when I am tired and start to nag about how many pairs of shoes he has laying around the house or how I "apparently" use more than my share of the blankets at night), but when I really thought about it I don't think there are many times throughout the day when either one of us really irritates the other. And I think that might be one of the biggest secrets of a happy marriage. 


You see, in the beginning of a relationship it's more about the BIG things- your values, your morals, your big life goals- the things that you both have to be on the same page with in order for the relationship to move forward. But, as you are together longer and longer it then begins to be more about the SMALLER things, the every day things. How much you make each other smile and laugh, how often you still hold hands and cuddle, coming home to each other every day, waking up to each other every morning, not having petty arguments of trivial things, not letting your feelings get hurt too often and not getting on each other's nerves too much. Because if you have too many small things that aren't going right, they add up to some really big problems down the road. 


The other night during dinner I asked Dan what grade he would give his productivity for the day. He gave himself an F (it was a Monday, he was not motivated he claims). I asked him what he would grade himself for effort- he said a C (a little better, still only average). I then asked him what grade he would give our marriage. He said a C. I, in my highest-pitch scream, said WHAT? A C? That is only AVERAGE! Why would  you give us a C? He said "to get a reaction like that." The very idea that I often barrage him with random questions such as this may actually be one of those things that annoys him about me, but in truth, I think it entertains him- well, entertains both of us for that matter, but at the end of the day I think we would both give our marriage an A+, but I recognize that there may be a time when it may be harder than it is now to get an A+ and during those times I hope that I'll remember that they key to getting the grade may just be in the small things. 


There are MANY small things that Dan does for Jackson and I every day that makes me love him more and more, but I thought I would capture just 10 from the past few days that made me smile a little bigger, laugh a little harder and just glow with the love I have for him.


1. This morning he packed a "breakfast picnic" of muffins, apples and water for our car ride because he knew I hadn't had a chance to eat anything yet.
2. Tonight he made us brownies while I was putting JP to bed.
3. Last night when our nieces were over he made them popcorn on the stove just because he knew they would love it.
4. He cleaned the kitchen, did the laundry, picked up the house, vacuumed the area rugs... and did it all without ever having to be asked, as always.
5. This afternoon he spent hours making a new diaper bag for Jackson- again- because the one he made a few weeks ago wasn't perfect in his eyes. 
6. This morning when I woke up he asked if I wanted to go to Target. Of course I did! I love Target!
7. Yesterday morning he let me sleep an extra half an hour while he and Jackson played before church. (a half an hour is A LOT when you have a little man in your life)
8. The way he lays out his clothes every night in the living room so he doesn't wake me in the morning by getting dressed in our room.
9. He asked JP and I out on a little lunch date tomorrow since I have the day off and he doesn't so we'll get to see him for a little bit over lunch.
10. The way he humors me, like today at Target when he told me he liked the brown wallet more than the black one when I asked him which he thought I should buy when really I knew he really doesn't care at all.