joy.

There is a deep sense of clarity that comes along with happiness. Not the every day kind of happiness, but the kind that you find when you really stop to feel your life. To feel the love that fills the air around you in a way that is so heavy you can feel it laying on your skin, you can taste it. I think this may be what Jesus called JOY. 


Having this week at home with Jackson has given me that rare opportunity to really feel this joy. I mean really feel it. I feel it when I walk into his room in the morning and before I can see him I can hear him giggling. I feel it throughout the day when I hear him say my name, when he comes to where I am and takes me by the hand, when he is just Jackson. And I am just Mama. 

I believe there is something extraordinary about my love for Jackson. About my respect for being chosen to be his mother. I feel it so deeply in my heart that it is undeniable to the point of being overwhelming. 


This kind of love is rare- and when something is this rare you protect it with all you have and you savor it with your entire being. And when you feel JOY that deeply you can't help but to shout about it. To tell the world. To want more than anything to be able to share with everyone around you just a little piece of heaven God is giving you a taste of. So, I do that. I shout it out. I tell my story. I thank God so many times a day for this little man that even He probably thinks I sound like a broken record. 


There are many things in my life that bring me happiness, but there are very few that bring me JOY. Very few that are eternal. That are forever. That I pray will be beside me someday in Heaven. And for these people I am humbled to be such a big part of their lives too.