SIX years!

... a week belated here: last Saturday Dan and I had our 6th wedding anniversary. SIX years! We spent the day driving home from vacation so on Memorial Day Nanna and Pop took the babies so we could go to dinner. Well, every place we wanted to have dinner was closed for the holiday so we ended up going to Hollywood Casino since it was actually open and spent a little time playing Roulette. It was so fun! ... well, fun while we were on a winning streak. As Dan said, "you just can't lose!" Too bad we aren't high rollers who bet enough for it to actually matter :)

Resolution Rekindle.

One of my 2013 resolutions is to better prioritize my marriage. Dan and I have a great relationship already, but I know that I let myself make excuses too easily about kids or work or stress or whatever getting in the way of us really putting us above it all. I want to rekindle, if you will. And so we've made the agreement to start out by making sure we have monthly dates and I'm doing my best to plan ahead of time for babysitters and planning the dates themselves so that life doesn't get in the way and prevent us from making the time that we need. 

Here are the dates we currently have lined up for 2013:

January: Bowling 
February: A Hockey Game
March: Take a cooking class together
April: Visit the Creation Museum
May: Cincinnati Reds Game
June: We'll be on a mission trip in Ecuador this month, so lots of quality "date" time. 
July: The Observatory (take 2, last visit wasn't so much a success)
August: TBD- any ideas? 
September: TBD- any ideas? 
October: Dinner at our local winery
November: Dinner at our favorite winery (so, we like wine...)
December: Ice Skating

I guess a lot of my resolutions, including this one, are about not allowing life to be all about the day-to-day. About not allowing the mundane to become the hero of the story. And that applies to marriage as well- especially to marriage I think.  What is that saying that they say, that the best gift you can give your children is to love your husband/wife? I couldn't agree more. 

I have always had this very real sense of urgency when it comes to life- I want to LIVE it, big time. I don't want to waste days, I don't want to spend my time doing things that don't bring me alive... I want to really live. To really feel, to really experience this amazing world God created for us. This is why I created my first Life List around the age of 17 or so. The list has grown and evolved over the years with some items being checked off along the way. 


There have been some seasons in life when I have been able to check off many items, whereas it seems I have accomplished very few the past couple of years. My first instinct was to say, "oh, that's what happens when you have kids..." but I violently stop myself because what a lame excuse. I have always said- and believed- that having children should push you to do more instead of holding you back from living. I think they key is to have regular check-ins with yourself and with your family to make sure you're on track to making all of your dreams come true- otherwise the day-to-day will creep up on you and before you know it a month/year/decade has come and gone and what progress has been made on the dreams front? 


So, Dan and I took advantage of a few baby-free hours this weekend to have one of our regular check-ins. Our "Family Strategy Session" if you will. We updated our family master plan and we set some new goals for the remainder of this year: 5 for us as a family, 3 for Dan personally and 3 for me personally. We are now totally focused and determined to check them all off, living life more fully in the process. 


Since we only had a few hours for the conversation we really only covered our shorter-term goals, but this morning while JP was still sleeping and the Peanut was content bouncing away in her jump-a-roo I updated my own Life List, completely inspired by our conversation on Saturday and by my cousin who is running the Boston Marathon today (go, Aaron!). So, it is updated and I can't help but feel that sense of urgency stronger than ever, to cross things off, to experience these dreams I have on paper and best of all to do them with my favorite people in the world. 

juice nazi

Allow me to introduce you to my husband, the juice nazi. 

He's just like the soup nazi, but we're talking juice here. And juice is serious business. Every thing from the selection process of the produce to the drinking of the freshly-squeezed juice is a big deal to him. Last night he and JP made an orange and grapefruit concoction for us to enjoy. 

After it was finished the evening went a little something like this:


Dan: Are you going to drink that juice?
Me: Yep, in a little bit.
(10 minutes later)
Dan: Are you going to drink that juice?
Me: Yep, in just a little bit
(10 minutes later)
{REPEAT THE ABOVE several times}
Me: (going in to tell him good night) Good night, I'll come to bed in a little bit
Dan: So, you're going to drink that juice first, right?

I finally drank the juice around 11:30pm. Not because I wanted the juice, not because I needed the juice, but for the sake of our marriage. To make my husband, the juice nazi, happy. Lets all say a little prayer that poor JP didn't inherit all of both mine and Dan's quirks... because if he did, the kids got no chance.

"THANK YOU" to nanna, poppy & uncle jordan for taking care of JP so we could have DATE NIGHT last night. It was a perfect little mix of Dan & me. We began with going to the Auto Expo (the Dan part) then went to dinner at Local 127 (the me part that actually ended up being the 'us' part). Date nights are so good. Good for the soul, the heart, the marriage. Just really good. 

Giving Thanks #14

Being the month of 'thanks-giving' and all I knew that one of my thankful moments would be directed towards my husband.  I am honestly very thankful for him. One thing I have noticed lately is that I am especially thankful for the things that come out of his mouth. Well, actually for roughly 67% of what comes out of his mouth. You see, these words I speak of do 1 of 3 things: 


1. Make me laugh
2. Make me think 
3. Make me want to scream and/or roll my eyes and/or slap him (this is that 3rd of the time that I am not thankful for when he's trying to get a "reaction"...)


Let me give you a few examples of some of the things he has said in just the past few days. I'll leave it up to you to decide which of the above categories each fits in to. 

#1: Context: We are driving in the car when we see a sign that is announcing that Santa Claus will be at a local church in a few weeks for children to come and meet. 

Jessica: "We really need to start thinking about what our stance on Santa Claus is going to be. I don't want Jackson to think that Christmas is in honor of him and not Jesus and I also don't want to paint this big lie for him for years... you know? So, what do you think our stance on Santa Claus should be?"

Dan: "That he ROCKS"

Jessica: "Hi, welcome to an adult mother/father conversation."

#2: Context: Out of nowhere (which makes it even more great) he starts telling me about how he asked the guys he works with 'what is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?' 

Jessica: "So,what is yours, what is the best advice you have ever been given?"

Dan: "Well, I am still narrowing it down, but I am down to my top 3 which are:

1. Do unto others what you would have them do to you.

and the other two are from C.S. Lewis which are

2. Don't judge anyone. Because even if you consider yourself a good person that doesn't make you better than anyone. You see, you have no idea what they are going through or where they are coming from in life.

3. When you get to heaven you are going to have eternity to live over every single decision you ever made and you will feel one of two things: shame or pride. So, don't do a single thing that you will ever be ashamed of."

#3: Context: Normally in the mornings Dan wakes up, feeds the puppies, makes us coffee and is out the door to work in less than 10 minutes. Meanwhile, it takes me at least a very efficient hour to get Jackson and I out the door. Dan is totally ignorant to what this takes. This morning he was home because he has to work through the night tonight so he's home during the day. So, after he watches me run around like a crazy lady getting everything ready for the day and I have Jackson all buckled into his carseat and ready to walk out the door he says to me:

Dan"So this is all you have to do every morning? This is it?"

Oh, husband... LOVE you!

Cloudy Days

I like to think that most of the time I am an optimist. Most always in a good mood, inspired, driven, happy... but the truth is that the past couple of weeks have been a real roller coaster. I find it absolutely useless to whine about things, so for me to openly say that I'm having a rough time means that I'm really having a rough time. And I just need to get some of it out, for my own good.


Nothing strikingly horrible has happened to me. It's just been the day to day stuff that has built up and has become too much. It started with a rough patch in my career. I was going through one of those phases that all working moms go through where I was questioning my passion for the work I do, if I was doing the right thing, if I was even good at what I do. That sort of thing. 


Then, add to that Dan's crazy work schedule the past couple of weeks- it has made me feel like a single mom in many ways. I am now on drop off and pick up duty which gives me anxiety in itself. Because it means that I need to squeeze all of my work responsibilities into even fewer hours which is not possible. So my long to do list becomes longer and eats away at me. It means that more burden is put on my mom who keeps Jackson almost every day which I feel so guilty about although she would never make me feel like it bothers her. It means that Jackson is away from home more which is not ideal. It means that more of my time with Jackson is "in the car time" or doing "chores" which is not quality time. It means that we have had dinner as a family very few times lately and that Dan and I have had close to zero time together lately. 


Add to this that Jackson has been waking up several time at night which means I am going on an average of about 5 or 6 hours of sleep each night- none of it all at once. I think that caught up with me last night when all of a sudden during the night I felt like I had just been hit by a truck. I must have some version of the flu because I still feel awful. I stayed home from work so I wouldn't' spread my germs but again tonight Dan is still not home from work and it's going on 9:00pm. 


I could add many more things to this list, but the moral of the story for me is that things are hard right now and I know they'll get better soon. Maybe even tomorrow. But, for now I feel in a big burnt out rut. I am so ready to get off of this roller coaster. This ride is making me sick- literally. 


After "venting" with this post I almost deleted it and didn't share, but I think it's important, especially as a woman, to admit openly and without guilt that there are some days (or weeks) when things just don't go well. When we feel defeated. When we feel less than stellar. And that's okay. That's okay as long as we pick ourselves back up and march forward with confidence, knowing that it's all going to turn out just fine. No, better than fine. It's all going to be absolutely amazing. In times like these we need to be honest with ourselves in how we feel, acknowledge what we're going through- maybe even sulk a little bit or get angry- and then dig deep into our pockets of faith and lift ourselves back up with the help of God and our loved ones. So with that out of my system I'm off to get some rest with the hopes of a better day tomorrow!

dan's new ride (that doesn't actually "ride")

Dan bought a new truck that is actually very, very old. In case you didn't catch it, see here for the adventure- or lack of- that it has already provided. 


I have no idea what he sees in this truck. Whatever it is I certainly don't see it. I would say maybe it's a 'guy thing' but I actually think it's a 'Dan thing.' He has been working on this thing every day. I'm not sure what he has been working on exactly because it's still in a million pieces in our driveway, but either way this "truck" has been a big time sucker already. So, tonight he came in to get JP. He put him in the back pack and I thought they were going on their usual hike outside, but when I went out to find them I found that Daddy had put JP to work as his little helper. 

I started to ask them what they were doing, but they both made it clear that I was interrupting guy time. 

Admiring their progress. 

Watching this truck-fixing action bored me, so it was my turn to take JP on a hike to admire the fall leaves. 

The driveway up to Cottage Hill

Our little spot on top of the world- beautiful sunset tonight

Some of the mums JP and I picked up today - I love fall!!

Sammy watching us from inside. We would have brought him out with us but his arch nemesis (the neighbor's cow) was near and that only results in this feisty little guy obnoxiously barking like crazy. But that's a whole other story for another time.

After our little hike we went back to check in on Dan. He was still hard at work.

Quiz: what is wrong with this photo?

If you answered "that truck has no wheels" - then you are correct! And this is why before Dan was allowed to purchase this truck we shook on the agreement that Jackson is not allowed to ride in it until he is 5 years old. And the only reason I said "5 years old" is that there is no chance that this thing will still be running in 5 years. Correction: this thing isn't running today, so that sort of confirms my point. 

The one good thing about this truck. The Purdue sticker that was on the back window. 

And now my two mechanics are in bed- one sleeping, one watching the Reds in the playoffs- and this officially wraps up another weekend. I'm off to get things ready for tomorrow. There are bottles and baby food to be packed. Work bags to organize. Clothes to fold. Puppies to feed. And to do lists to make. Have a good night and an even better week!

The Great Date Day (semi) Flop

Since Jackson came along Dan and I have made it a priority to still have dates. These were easier to manage when I was on maternity leave because I was with Jackson every day so I didn't feel like I was losing too much time with him to go out to dinner with Dan once a month while Nanna soaked up much-needed baby JP time. Then, when I went back to work we made it a goal to still have dates once a month. At the moment we're averaging more like one every 3 months, but at least it's a start. One such date was scheduled for yesterday when we had planned to go canoeing for the afternoon while Jackson played with his honorary Aunt Sara, Uncle Larry and cousins Lex and Peyton. 


So, I dropped JP off as planned and came home to pick up Dan before going to the river, but we decided that since the river was so low from a lack of rain that canoeing would probably end up being more frustrating than exciting. Plan B consisted of us taking the puppies for a hike. They were beyond excited. Honestly. When you ask Sammy if he wants to go "bye bye" he literally starts running in circles and jumping up and down and then bolts to the car before you can possibly change your mind. So, we piled both dogs into the car and off we went.

So, we are driving down the road at approximately 45 miles per hour when all of a sudden Sammy leaps out the window. Really, he jumped out the window of a moving car on a semi-busy road. Dan and I both looked at each other in shock and I started screaming for Sammy while Dan quickly pulled off to the side of the road. I jumped out of the car and proceeded to chase our 15 pound ball of fur down the road screaming his name. He looked back. He saw me running and that made him run even faster, enjoying the game of chase. I continued to sprint after him. Well, after about 10 cars stopped on the road, creating a little traffic jam and a woman actually got out of her car to help me chase the terror of a dog down I finally caught up to him. Where was he you ask? Oh, just wagging his little tail by some man's car, sniffing his tires and loving every minute of attention he was getting. I could have died. No, correction- I almost did die because it has been awhile since I have ran that far and that fast. 


After many waves of apologies to everyone in sight and thanking the woman profusely, I picked up my eldest son and walk back to the car in half shock from embarrassment and half shock from the heart-attack I was having. Okay, moving on, we'll call that Strike 1 for date day.

We finally get to the hiking trail after the drama, get the leashes on both boys and start walking. Sammy is still happy as can be to be on a hike. Bing, not so much. He now smells the scent of many other dogs and isn't a big fan. He is the sweetest, sorry-excuse for a guard dog when at home, but is showing us that this is not the case when in public. So, Dan is constantly having to scold him to get him to act appropriately on the trail. Not relaxing, not relaxing at all. So after a little bit of this I declare that I just want to go home. This is not fun. This is not relaxing. We are getting zero chances to just talk and hang out together. This is not what date day is supposed to be like. Dan agrees. So, we decide to take our trouble maker dogs home and then opt for plan C. We'll call this Strike 2 for date day.

So, we drop Sammy and Bing at home, shower, change clothes and then decide that plan C consists of a very early dinner at one of our favorite wineries. We couldn't possibly go wrong there, right? We order wine and our dinner, are enjoying the atmosphere and then Dan's dinner arrives and the pork tenderloin that he ordered is breaded. Breaded? That is what someone with gluten intolerance would call strike 3 of date day. The menu's description was quite wordy but mentioned nothing of breading, so he had to send it back in lieu of a salad. The same thing the poor guy eats every other day of his life and the same thing he just ate as an appetizer.

After 3 strikes we ended date day. We picked up our little man who had an amazing time getting spoiled for the afternoon and hoped that our next date day would fair far more enjoyable. Oh well, the semi-disappointment of yesterday was made up for today. The weather was perfect. Church was moving, as always. And we spent the remainder of the day at home, enjoying each other. And to top it all of we have only 3 working days in front of us this week before flying to Denver to meet our most beautiful niece Violet O!

When Jackson woke up from his afternoon nap his hair was pointing in every direction.

His Einstein hair do.

He thinks his lack of style is hilarious. 

Outside helping Daddy change the oil in the car.

This is his "the sun is too bright" look

Hanging out with Bing

JP and I relaxing on the dock

My handsome little man who might be more handsome if his hair was less out of control.

Another beautiful Sunday on Cottage Hill!

Family Master Plan

I am a big believer in having a clear vision of what you want out of life and the only way to make that vision a reality is to set short and long-term goals. I am a big goal-setter. I set goals at the beginning of each week and even each day. I think this is related to my obsession with creating lists. Dan shares in my passion for setting goals so we have conversations a lot about what we want out of life for our family, for ourselves and for each other. 


The OCD side of me decided that we needed to formalize all of these ideas and conversations into a "Family Master Plan." Being the good husband that he is, Dan humored me and told me I could take the lead on developing this master plan and then he would just "review" it and add his builds. 


So, I did. And I shared it with him over dinner this week. I handed him the "master plan" paper, he took one look and handed it back saying "this is too much, just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing and I'll do it." Me? Tell him what to do? No problem! 


I am not going to post our actual Family Master Plan because even I have some boundaries on what I share with my lovely readers, but I will share the principles that I used to create and some examples of what to include in case you want to run your family like a militant corporation like I do! (only kidding, but I can definitely see the "P&G manager" in me coming through VERY clearly in this).


The Principles: 
1. The way to lay out the plan: Use a simple chart format. Along the top you will have 4 columns- one for each quarter of the year. Label these accordingly: JFM (January, February, March), AMJ (April, May, June), JAS (July August, September) & OND (October, November, December). On the left side going down vertically you will have 5 rows- one for each of the next 5 years. Again, label accordingly and I also wrote in what our ages would be that year to add more perspective- this can be very eye opening because you don't realize how fast time goes! So, on our it says: 2010 (26, 0) because in 2010 Dan and I are 26 and Jackson is 0. 


2. Then, simply fill in the boxes with what major family goals you want to accomplish and focus on each quarter for the next 5 years. Include things like: family planning (when you would like to have your next child), major family purchases (new car), major home renovations, big projects (cleaning out and organizing the basement), financial planning (goals on paying off major debt such as your mortgage AND savings/retirement planning goals), major milestones (when your child begins preschool, major wedding anniversaries), family vacations, etc. 


3. Take it a step farther by then making a "Family To Do List" to accomplish your major buckets on a quarterly basis. So, for example, one of our major goals this quarter is to "simplify" our lives. So, I wrote out a more specific step-by-step list of what we need to do to accomplish this goal over the next 3 months. This includes things like going through our kitchen cabinets and getting rid of anything we don't use, getting rid of cable TV, finding ways to simplify our routines, etc.


Family Master Planning to me is so important. It allows you to have long-term visibility on major milestones that you want/need your family to achieve- most of which takes a lot of planning either with your finances or time or both, so by laying out these milestones and spacing them in a realistic way you are allowing yourself to plan in advance. 


I am also realizing more and more each day how fast time goes. As Dan always says "we have too many full-time jobs"- we each have our actual full-time careers but many other things can end up being a full time commitment too such as taking care of the house and yard, each other, our hobbies, our church activities, volunteering, our family and friends... the list goes on. These are all GREAT things that we LOVE, but they can quickly become more of a burden than a blessing if we haven't planned enough in advance. 


If you found this helpful then I am excited for you to make your own FMP and reap all of the benefits. If you have found this on the side of "Jessica is insane" then we already knew that, so hopefully it was at least entertaining!

The Difference Between Dan & I

Well, there are many... but here is just one example from today: 

I told Dan last week that I was thinking about buying a sewing machine. A friend of mine has one and she inspired me into realizing that they are not lame as I previously thought. This excited Dan a lot as he has been trying to get me to buy one since we moved into our house. Why? Who knows. 


He once bought me a learn-how-to-knit kit too. But, guess who ended up teaching himself how to knit? That's right, my manly husband. Except that he couldn't figure it out.

Anyway, as soon as I told him that I was now considering a sewing machine he started researching them. I knew he would, but this is the machine that he found and wants to buy.

This is not exactly what I had in mind... 

It is ancient.

No, seriously, if you google this sewing machine this is one of the first photos found. Maybe he's trying to tell me something?

Tonight, in hopes of really "closing the deal" in his attempt to win me over, he shared with me this YouTube video. The man was seriously giggling with delight as we watched this video. The foot pumping? Yep, that's his favorite part.