Construction Zone

A few of the things we've been up to this past week:

1. Tearing the sun room off of our house

2. Tearing the garage down

3. Creating a giant "moat" into the hill behind our house to expose the foundation

4. Pouring concrete footers for a new foundation

5. Destroying a lot of old concrete and landscaping to make way for new and improved

6. Watching Dan leave for work at 5:15am every day and return around 8pm

7. Practicing the art of being 'at peace' with the chaos and exhaustion that all of this brings

8. Taking Jackson to Urgent Care and to the hospital for x-rays for the first time (we think he twisted his knee during nap time; he can't walk on his leg- we're awaiting x-ray results, but he seems to be improving little by little already- will tell the full story another time when I'm a little less emotional on this topic, but lets just say that we dealt with some nurses who must have skipped all classes on pediatrics)

9. Working a LOT - not sure how single mothers fit a full career in as well. No idea. 

10. In short, we are simply living in a construction zone and trying to make the most of it- some days we are better at that than others 

when forever doesn't feel long enough

I have no idea why I am still awake. I made this pact with myself at the beginning of the year that I was going to try my best to be in bed by 10:30 every night. Yeah, right. That has happened maybe a handful of times. So, I think I'm just going to give up on that goal and be okay with it. Life is too short to sleep when your mind is dancing and your heart is just aching for more time, more time to just live.


This morning I was helping in the kindergarten class at church and the lesson was around 'everlasting life' - and as we were going through the bible stories my mind was filling with visions of what heaven will be like and how we cannot even begin to imagine the paradise that awaits us- and that in itself is mind-blowing. 


But, the thing is... the thing is that my life- our life- the life of my little family already feels like heaven. Sometimes I feel like I probably squeeze Jackson too tightly and that the way I sometimes watch Dan sleep is borderline creepy... but I do it because I am so in love with being in love with them. And in moments like that- in moments like right now- forever just doesn't feel like long enough. 


Tomorrow brings the start to another week of opportunities- and most certainty a lot of chaos will sure to follow. I am realizing that life is too short to get caught up in the drama of 'busy' and 'stressed' and 'tired'... so I pray that I'll take this week one day at a time, living in peaceful balance. I pray that I will live in the moment, because life happens in the moments that we all too often are hurrying along. 

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow. -Proverb

 

and.... pause.

As much as I want to slow life down right now, like it or not, we are living on fast forward. The next few months for our family are going to be a big test of faith, patience and energy. But, we'll pass- we'll pass with flying colors, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy, comfortable or fun every day. 

If I were to find a bright spot in the fact that Dan will be working straight through the weekends until this summer- it would be that Jackson and I will be getting in a lot of one-on-one time together. I have a list of all the adventures we're going to go on- some of the best I'm sure will be played out in our little spot on top of the world.  

As many times as JP has been outside with us over the past year, he has only begun to explore this place that he calls home now that his chubby little feet have found the sweet freedom of running. Thank you, thank you for this pause button that we've been handed for the next couple of days. I can't remember the last time we've needed it more.