Life on Cottage Hill: PAGES

Saturday, October 9, 2010

transitioning phases...

I've not been myself the past few days. I think so much time away from home this past month combined with Jackson not sleeping well combined with food sickness combined with (you name it) has me off. This is a roundabout way of saying I've been down in the dumps and I'm guessing that Dan would say grumpy too. Not really me at all. 

I feel like I get this way every few months- sometimes more often- for a few days. Where I get impatient with myself. Impatient with my life. Why have I not achieved more? Why am I not reaching all of my goals quickly enough? Why am I not helping more people? Why am I not perfect? Am I really where I am supposed to be? You know, all of those metrics that perfectionists like myself will never truly be satisfied with- and we like it that way- but at times our own expectations for ourselves literally burn our own hearts and minds out. 

I have heard that creative minds go through these types of 'phases' every once in awhile. It's as if their minds are saying "enough already, just let me rest for a few days" and then a few days pass and they have a renewed sense of energy and hunger for life. So, maybe that's it. Maybe I'm transitioning into a new phase.

I don't know. I just know that I don't feel like me, so tomorrow I'm going to start fresh. I'm going to revisit all of my goals, I'm going to refocus on all of my priorities and am going to finish getting our home back in order (this was started today) and I'm going to recapture myself, my energy... tomorrow happens to be Sunday and Sunday mornings happen to be my favorite time of the week so that's a bonus, plus there is no better place and time to refresh yourself than in Sunday morning service. I certainly am craving the dose of faith that will be coming my way. 

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